when you're gone

never knew the house would feel this empty without you...

never knew the iron is that heavy and the iron board is so dysfunctional

never knew folding ALOT of clothes at once can be back breaking

never knew how to operate the washing machine

arghh... it sucks, now I know!!

mommy come back soon~~~

oh but I still gotta do all the above in US. AT LEAST it's just my share i have to do! Man... mommy it must have suck so much for u too~~ sorry! :(

"Hurt people, hurt people.

Healed people, heal people."

This really struck a chord. How apt.

Also what a timely reminder from Him both at service and after speaking to someone that He had gone ahead and paved the way so everything will fall nicely in place, in ways better than I can imagine. Why haven't I learnt? Haha it's such a tough lesson for me, something that I will probably never finish learning. But it's always sweet with my saviour! Muacks! :)

over

ah finally it's over. when the last song goes, with all the ups and vibes comes the emptiness. aww~~ though I didn't joined the people right from the start and didn't go to that many rehearsals but there was still this anticipation to this day, this morning. It all finally came to an end and really it was such a short two hours. In a flash, it's all gone. And the new people met and music therapy enjoyed it has all come to an end.

and what's left is an emptiness and a longingness

last music therapy

last session of rehearsal for IGS, last dose of music therapy from the talented bunch of musicians. ahh... I'm excited and dont know how should i put it... hmm that it's the last i will hear from the awesome band and the awesome lead vocalist. aww...

stuck

torn between the desires and the imperatives

like a beast on restrain wrestling to break free

caged in the perpetual despondence

the malady of infinite longing...

-stuck between the fantasy and what is real-

Holidayyy

It's the Holiday!! :DD

Happily slurping jello at the off-shore island club now wee~~

Bidded exams farewell yesterday and now just leisurely mugging for my JLPT.

i can smell NZ coming real soon and then in the blink of an eye I'll be in US for the next few months. Yupz yupz life is great! And once again, there's so much i wanna do this holiday! Continue to hone my keyboard which i neglected half way through the hecticness of the sem. Brush up and pursue my japanese and korean.

And there's so much i feel like pursuing as well. I guess I agree with my dad. I'm real greedy. There's so much i wanna pick up and learn. I feel like picking up hip hop and still feel like gg for drums. And vocal class. arghh~~

And I wanna go for a global internship. but i guess maybe it's not the right time... but it would be great to do it after my quarter when I will already be in US rather than making a seperate trip there again. But I guess mongolia project will be my priority now... I wanna focus and do it well. Maybe I will have another chance... maybe take a sem off to intern in US? but what about the money? And i feel that my dad wants me to hurry up graduate and work and support the family. Arghh~~better put this off till my graduating sem? Apply or not to apply~~

And and there's still the summer school which i feel like going for which i haven't even told my dad. think he'll flip. and no surprise... all these exchange and overseas trips are making huge dents in our family account. but i really hope to spend some time in Japan to go for an intensive japanese language crash course and get a JLPT 1.

oh dear.... so much of "I wants". Guess i better focus on my JLPT 4 preparation which is staring at me right now first.

chasing the blues

can i beat the effects of bad grades that holds 30% of your final grade? the curse of the 30%...

combatting demoralizing thoughts while mugging for finals is just unfortunate. praying so hard and still slipping into self-doubts. oh gosh. pray for me people.

mug breaks with Chasers War on Everything on youtube is quite effective at chasing the blues though. Highly recommend this series. Just so freakin hilarious, there's no way to stay unhappy at least for a while.

all not fallin right

this is just so bad. in the middle of the exam week and fancy getting back a term paper with a *drumsroll* B-... oh gosh as though two Bs aren't enough. =(((

so saddening and demoralising!! And this B- is just so... I can't even describe it. The draft essay for it was pretty alright with some decent comments and I have worked on it only to get a B- for final grade?! Arghh I just cannot comprehend why didn't you point out the flaws earlier on the draft so I could correct it? why give me the nice positive stuff? to think you said you mark us down for the draft cos it's only 10% and you would spare us for the final essay which is 30%. So there goes 40%. oh gosh. help~~

I'm just so not confident of this semester. But perhaps it is better this way. A good wake up call for me before I get devoured by a growing ego. 하루님 도와주세요!

squirmish

I should be focusing over my Marx Weber and Dukheim, but after witnessing that revolting sight I need to get it out of my system before i can fix my concentration.

It was real sick. On my way to the reading lounge just now was this tiny long black thing. It was all dark so it looked just like those chewy long gummy until this dude stepped on it as he walked past without realizing, and the poor brute thrashed and slithered its way into a bush at the same time successfully driving me right off in the opposite direction back home. :S

oh gross... the thing i hate most on earth... and a baby snake imply the presence of a mommy snake. oh gosh help~~~ my estate is not safe anymore.

(1) *swoon*

sad story+awesome addictive tunes+hawt dance = just gotta put on repeat!

For second time gori, you finally have great taste LOL! TAEYANG!!!

(2) warning: absolutely hilarious (mayb a tad offensive)

Timely words and Rejuvenating sounds

Music therapy at choir practice again. N seriously God work in wonderous ways. Even the most unimpt prayers can be answered. I prayed that I can just serve him joyously at choir prac today cos frankly it's a real struggle to ditch e books n also drag my battered body from this morning's battle to practice. But really praise God! I had an awesome n fruitful time both vocally n spiritually.

Apparently for e centenary service 2 vocal coaches from this Australian Christian band (nope not hillsong but just as awesome!) were roped in to assist the choir n vocalists. N wow... The coaches totally revived us. We learn to heighten songs, to groove to e songs, to shout praise, to just worship n enjoy. N everyone's singing tgt so strongly n powerfully!! It makes my heart race in excitement as well. It's so free n liberating today! N somehow I don't feel as caged anymore.

N I really like e way e coaches instruct. Really dif from the chinese instructors. No jargons no over harping on techniques n thgs just flows.

N the band again was awesome. Even had some impromptu jazz music from e electric guitarist during break time.

N today's word sharing was perfectly timely and I feel so strengthened once again. Great reminder from the awesome One to consecrate ourselves for God to work wonders among us (Jos 3:5). Idols (no not refering to pop stars but just stuff that distracts you) are such irritating things really. They just keep creeping into your hearts and minds without you realising till one day you're all infested. It's really so true that you don't even have to be a pagan to have idols. With just 2 very blessed semesters, I have forgotten my painful lesson. How sad... I am just like the israelites. Studies and achievements are threatening to get into my head and over-powering His position. It's time to restore Him. And I'm glad the TWO BIG FAT Bs had knocked some senses into me.

Stop the day dreaming. Stop trying to pilot my way through but rather set myself apart for Him to work great things through me. LISTEN before i act. So (though it's soooo hard), CAP 5 I will slay you! And i am so glad this is so timely! There's still 4 more papers to salvage. So God let me mug for your glory for the remaining papers and not for the gratification of my ego.

And time is running out for me to mug for my next paper with the entire day burnt at choir practice but I'll just trust You!

Anyway so it's ONE down and FOUR more! :)))

Oh and one more cool fact! Don't just think you're just one of the insignificant voice amongst the many, cos in one of the battles of the Israelites, it wasn't the army who went ahead but the worship team and they brought the enemies down with their songs and praise. How awesome. So sing! Sing with all you have! Man... i am having my hillsong dream again :((

mortified and horrified

two GIGANTIC alphabet "B"s marked across two of my term papers/projects brought me back down to earth. In the first place, I don't think I am even up anywhere but maybe I am gaining a tad bit confident and day-dreaming too much. But this is real depressing and demoralizing. I really think nice profs are sooo important to have cos everything is just so subjective.

Just one more day to go before the start of exams and I have just soo ill-prepared. This semester is just a disaster. the disastrous deadlines one after another and finally that idiotic piece of work that only got a B which caused me to only have barely one week to prepare for 5 modules worth of exams.

Arghh... ... I really don't wanna leave for SEP with a dampen CAP. :(

Please save me :(

day of ditching the books

Attended Daddy's calligraphy graduation. Congratulations dad! 3 years of sheer determinations is really not easy and today you see the fruit of your labour! It's really quite amazing, both mom and I agree that he has made remarkable improvements in his words. They are really starting to become pieces of art now. And I guess I am happy to share in his joy and to see him this happy. And the most important thing was, even mommy came down to support. Goodness... God I really see your wonders... please continue to work your magic I pray.

Daddy and his master piece no.1

The group of us relatives who went down to support (with his master piece no.2)

(a shame n0.3 is not captured well on camera)

Next up was the brought forward birthday party for Weishan since Liz will be leaving for Taiwan in a couple of days' time. And we had a joyous time, a sumptuous meal and I'm glad the (early) bdae girl was really happy! :D and and everyone love the lil korean doll i made! yes the thing i was making few days ago was this korean doll. But it's all well-worth it to know that she's (the doll) now being treasured by my dear friend. :D

Actual event photos captured on the camera of others so I shall patiently await them to appear on facebook.

Oh oh and it's also real awesome that the dinner didnt burn a hole in my pocket! okay... not as big a hole as i have imagined... I had yummy korean seafood pancake, bbq beef ribs, bbq pork, and gam jang tang (potato stew w spicy pork), and haha of course my soju and baek se ju!

time for others

the entire day is burnt... that lil free time in between which i soooooooooooo desire to use it on myself to mug was given up. the lil bit of time before keyboard class was used to pop by the bookstore to get my tuition kid her new practice papers and assessment book cos there's no other time otherwise.

the precious time after tuition back home till only just now was burnt as well... ended up rushing down to the mall to get ingredient to make something for a friend and spent the rest of the time making it. Had to make and I can't delegate it to my mom or others ARGHH cos there's just no one else. MY PRECIOUS TIME~~~~ arghhhhhh i'm sooooo scared that even without sleep tonight, i will still not be able to finish up Marx, Weber and Durkheim! And if this slide, everything else will slide~~ n I wont b able to complete my revision for exams.

This sem is uber scary. not just the rate I had to churn out my projects and papers, but the extreme limited time i have for revision as well. What's more this sat is burnt as well with choir, daddy's grad and dinner. And next week when time is SOOOOOO freakin precious, another friend from overseas is here to visit. And again... I just can't say no.. :(

worried worried sick...

on the brighter side, keyboard make up class was great. I think the teacher make a difference. I just can't make it under that musician which I had last sem. the current one I am under seems better at teaching and the one coaching my make-up class today was great (*wholesome*).

K and marathon night shall now commence... NO SLEEP till i bid Marx, Weber n Durkheim farewell~~~

Use Somebody (our cover)

aww the gig that i will missed cos i will b flyin off to US~~~

half a dream come true for this song...

I would really really wanna do this for a gig when i come back!! :DD

SOO HIGH!!!

please don't stop the music

happily bloated from supper and trimming the videos of the jam session just now while waiting for my hair to dry.

really the simple things in life can make you sooo happy. Music and great companions made my night :DD

Had such an awesome time at jamming! Singing, Laughing, Enjoying the awesome guitar riffs, adrenaline-pumping bass and drum beats. This is why i am addicted to music :DD

and such a great contrast with what happened at supper after jamming. We see the morphing of these musicians into lame joke comedians. Hilarious time at Macs supper.

la la la~~ Happy Days!

mongolia summer camp blog

The project blog is up and running. Please visit! :))

http://mongoliasummercamp.posterous.com

Find out more about the lives of street children in mongolia and exactly what this project is about! Take your first step now! :)

project finale

it's finally the moment of liberation from the slavery of project this sem. FINALLY the project packed semester is over! and now it's time to mug for the final exams... arghhhh 5 papers consecutively... with less than 2 weeks to prepare... what a nightmare!

and there's still tuition to teach, choir practice to attend. :((

i need to unwind.... sojuuuuu

少し

難しい宿題があると試験があるから、少しストレスなるよ。。。

友達をあったから、少し嬉し。。。

友達あう事ができないから、少し悲し。。。

support my project at: http://mongoliasummercamp.posterous.com

the little blessings

Really thank God for the little installments of blessings in my life. Despite the lack of events these days and the times when I feel that I have turned so autistic, the realisation of these lil blessings really brought a smile to my face.

With this hectic semester (pressing deadlines one after another) and with the social enterprise competition which ended only a while back, I really felt my social world in uni contracting from my absence from club activities. With the juniors coming in and the seniors taking a back seat for this semester before the major annual production next semester, it really had become quite a strange place and a stark contrast from the old familiar. With it comes an encroaching emptiness. The tonnes of deadlines one after another didn't help either. I wonder what it would be like after i return from my exchange. I guess to look on the bright side of things, like what Marilyn said I would have gained alot more friends overseas, and I can just join another new club and meet even more people. So I guess yeah... But but!! Doesn't mean the vocalist dream is over!! I must work harder!! And I WILL BE the multi-talented individual that I am always envious of!

So yeah the days of writing endlessly for my endless pile of work had made me feel, and it did happen as well, that I'm withdrawing from the world. The lack of events is really a morale downer. And here I thank God for saving me from a state of self-misery by making me realise the smaller things in life.

Who say that endless events, parties, gigs are the only things that can spice life and give life more colour and meaning? The little blessings that brings you smile can mean alot too. I thank God for great friends. Thank you for sweet Momo with the phone call while i panicked in the deserted hospital and the awesome lift home on fri night. Thank you for the company and chit chat at rehearsal w jas. Thank you for the little after-service lunches w cell every sun. Thank you for the mug date with gori jesmine and the uber fun fish-spa. Gori, it was uber fun, thanks for fish spa-ing w me. :D

I realise little things that bring a smile to your face warm your heart just so much more.

on a side note, I think I have really turned into a sound freak. I really enjoy closing my eyes and just listen to every layer of the music in a song. Feel how every instruments are pieced so brilliantly together. It's another of those little simple joy in life. :)