happy pot

Dinner after mugging can really go out of hand. just like wat happen the other day when liz, mark and i went for dinner after muggin at coffee bean, yesterday's dinner was another (embarrassing, image spoiling) delightful event.

Went to mug at the esplanade library with Liz after church and coincidentally bump into my fren minglong. so cool lah.

anyway so the 3 of us had dinner at makansutra, glutton square. so what happens when 3 gluttons discover a new stall called happy pot? they had 3 happy pots and tonnes of food. so it was great food, lots of laughters, gettin high on oxygen (or rather smoke) and 'moving' tears.

interview @ ntu and cell!

today was such an eventful day that i don't know what title to give to this post.

anyway in a nutshell. wanna thank all who had prayed for me. and most of all thank God for being with me throughout the whole period. before and during the interview. It's really very amazing how that nervousness and jitters transformed itself into excitement instead. And i'm glad the interview went well. Went for the non-acad interview for ntu. so the questions weren't too tough and i certainly hope that my peculiar choice of cca (they asked, "i thot gurls would join girl guides?!") raised their interest and my sharing have impressed them and not bore them to death.

But anyway this is still nt the highlight of the day. After the interview, I decided to cab down to cell even though one hour of it is already gone. And i am really glad that i went. Cell this year since special day has been so amazing each week lah.

so once again, i felt the prompting to pray for a friend and i was right. but just like last week, i ended up crying. why why why? don't know y these days, i just cant pray watever i wanna pray for my fren. i keep ending up crying. so like wat ivan told me, i shall have to seek God about this.

This aside, God is really just so so good. it's so amazing what ivan came to tell me. Everything he said to me that he felt God wanted to say to me was just soooo spot on! and we're nt even that close for him to noe wat's happening in my life. n so who else can all these b coming frm? It's so amazing the way God works lah. All that ivan told me are the stuff that I felt God has been prompting. it's incredible. and it's jjust so comforting and reassuring to know all these.

so yeah. great timee at cell. and we have cell dinner after that which was also another awesome time of bonding as a cell. :)

funny (evil me) snippets from the interview:
i was quite nervous as i waited for my turn. but the anxiety of others drew my attention and i cant help but be amused.

the guy on my left kept fidgetting and take deep heavy breaths. then came girl A who sat down n decided to talk to guy B on her left to relieve her anxiousness
girl A: hey, are u nervous?
guy B: yeah abit...
girl A: ok haha! i guess let'ss pretend that we're not.
and she starts to fidget as well.

then came the 3rd guy who has the worse nervous symptom of all. he sat down. turned to look at me and started breathing REALLY LOUDLY and HEAVILY. and me? i was kinda freaked out by him and decided to NOT LOOK AT HIM. i kept staring hard into the far distant and continue to maintain my deceiving look of calm composure.

it's so funny how all these would be interprettedif it's in another context of say at the bus stop at night. And this guy beside u keep breathing so heavily. hahahaa

Day dreams

Drilling yourself with statistics is seriously detrimental to your mental health.

All the numbers argh! Escaping from the chi-sq values of my contingency table, my mind wandered off to the korean kids playing in front of me. 3 boys and one gal. One of the boys the gal's elder brother. The brother n his friend playing their DS. The gal playing with this other non-korean boy. Then something happen and the boy started to annoy the gal making her really upset. Then the other boy ( the brother's friend) came along n pacify her by playing DS with her. Being a youtube addict and fan of korean drama, tada! the ingredient is all set for me to spin a tale! So without me realising, my super imaginative brain went on to spin a tale about the kids as they grew up and stuff. The gal with her 2 oppahs. LALALA... RARR back to my numbers!

reminds me of the time i mug with liz n mark at coffee bean. After a whole day of intensive intro to biz mgmt, the 3 of us officially went mad at about 8 plus and started spinning our own tale also!! We created a fictional character called amos's granddaughter, and we went on n on about the life of this child prodigy and etc.

we're really imaginative people, aren't we? and yeah as seen frm the pattern of behaviour above, it seems that spinning tales sub consciously is a natural reflex of my brain to escape the vigorous activity of mugging.

And anyway another happy thing to note! i saw my bundle of joy today again! yay! so cute.

here's a picture of her:

Encounter

After what happened last cell the really "coincidental" (God planned!) thg with Jasmine that we so happen to wanna pray for each other and e spot on thing about Jasmine's prayer request, this cell brought me a step further. It's really really so amazing. And i really hope that I can really grow and be more and more sensitive to the promptings of the Spirit.

what happened at cell today was actually quite ku-ku-ish. but i am not a kuku! As usual after cell, we have a half hour of praying for one another where we are all encouraged to act as the Spirit prompt us to. to approach whoever we felt led by the Holy Spirit to pray for and to pray for whatever we feel that we should pray for. It's really very nerve-racking and till now i am still not very comfortable w it. cos you just can't trust yourself that you have that level of discernment and sensitivity. But i guess practice makes perfect! And so i thank God for this channel where we can all practise discerning Your will from our own thoughts.

Anwyay so somethg pretty embarrassing and also stunning happened. After cell, i felt that i really got to pray for this friend whom i already felt the prompting to pray for 2 weeks ago but i just didnt act upon it. But today i decided i really GOT to do it. so i went ahead to pray. But after my 1st line of prayer, i just suddenly felt this surge of emotion. totally bizarre. i just cant think rationally or what. I don't even know clearly what is it i am feeling or thinking. just a mixture of sadness, heartache, and some thing else. I really really felt for the people involved in my prayers. I have been praying for them all this while also in my own quiet time but i never lost control of myself. I just started to weep. i just couldn't control. My my. if this happen else where i would have been labelled as a nut case. But fortunately, the friend i was praying for didnt think that i am a kuku idiot but instead went on to pray for me instead to thank me and to assure me that it's perfectly fine but was a manifestation of the conviction that the Spirit had placed in my heart. Oh well, i eventually did manage to pray finish. but it was argh. I've so much to say!!! But my brain just went gibberish. And it's just emotions i felt. But anyway as God gets it no matter what i am sure.

On my way home on the bus, I was reflecting on all these. I think i really have soooo much to thank God for. Wanna thank Him for never gonna give me up. For teaching me such a spiritually dense soul. For even giving such encounters to give me a much greater conviction that i can and am able to be discern the Spirit right and act upon it right. For making me stronger, making me mellow, making me take the u-turn in life, transforming me as He slowly heal me from the gapping wound.

really wanna thank Him for so much. For even cheering me up with all the doors that have opened. the opportunities. for showing me what's more impt and worthwhile in life. to make me realise that i have such gifts and these are nt meant to be wasted but used to love and touch others. my heart ache for others is not just there for nothing. They are meant for me to do something. thank you for making me make the u-turn from self-centeredness to more centered towards You. really countless things to thank for. Thank you that i took courage to be like abraham as well. Please continue to help me to shine more and more as Your daughter.

My Nepal trip, my next step to take into my future may they all rest well in Your hands as well. Abba Father. :)

thinking brain, fried brain

havent blog in ages once again or maybe it's just ages for me since i normally update more often till recently. i have been so busy. busy w frying my brain! muahahaha

I am so darn shagged. exhausted. squeezed dry by my consecutive days of madness revision workshops. But really the lse prof are truly awesome. some got abit of attitude prob in the sense that they think we are idiots (don't deny it though, we nv really work hard enuf n cant answer their questions. with exams only less than a month away n our level of unpreparedness, this truly make us idiots), and the fact that they condemn the local lecturers as though their worthless. Sigh sad case. I really pity the local lecturers. If they don't teach and spoon feed us, the students will complain and the management too will complain. But after all their notes and effort, they get condemn by the lse prof.

to sum up how pathetic the local lecturers are here's two snippets:
lse econs prof said, "the notes your lecturers churned are rubbish. u have wasted 9 months of your life."
lse maths prof said, "your fucking idiot local lecturer! i am so so pissed... the questions are carefully crafted so that i can teach you something but those worked out solutions given by your lecturer totally ruined it. with the answers, u guys have switched off!"

*shakez head* the poor local lecturer. So e moral of the story is: it's not enough to be a lecturer. make sure you have a PHD and even so make sure u r a lecturer at a MUCH reputed college. or else you will be labelled a "f***king idiot" =(

But despite their lil attitude problem. they are REALLY SUPERIOR in their knowledge and teaching. U can really feel those light bulbs lighting up as they teach. my goodness. no wonder lse is lse. sigh. really wish they can teach us all the way. if they have taught us from the start, the turn out would really be so different. A good teacher can really make a brilliant student indeed.

Anyway, it's just maths, econs and soci that i have gone so far so we shall not generalise the attitude issue. And besides, the sociology profs are really really NICE people. Dr steve is soooo charismatic. The way he talked to us and relate to us makes u feel so encouraged and motivated lah. And Mrs Gosling too! So my conclusion is sociologists are nice people. Even my local soci lecturer, she's like the nicest lecturer among my other subjects. Just so so nice. I guess it has to do with the discipline. To be a sociologist i guess u have to have a passion for humanity and a understanding and appreciation of cultural differences. Yupz so like what mrs gosling said, " i disagree with amos (e econs prof), it's not that you guys are stupid. it's a cultural difference. it's your culture to be less vocal about your opinions and answer. and i believe that there is knowledge up there but perhaps you guys don't feel confident enough and felt that you don't deserve to know since you have yet to revise". aww so nice lah.

So finally today, i can have a break from all the lectures. YAY! no school today finally!! after so many consecutive days. arghhh

my brain is really fried. not just from the lectures (really rigorous lects!) but also from my muggin!!! :( and also other issues to consider!! SO MUCH to think about!! hope my hair don't turn grey seriously.

what's on my head:
1) Should i go Aussie?
2) Should i even go to Nepal? And should i just take this project off scouts and do it as my own personal endeavour?

For no.1, am i being too sentimental? If i miss you guys, would you guys think of me too? And in my absence will there be a sense of absence of presence? I guess what Sarah said is true too. i'm being too sentimental. Everyone here will move on and things may change n differ, but i would have moved on too. and come to think of it, by being here i am not meeting all my friends frequently as well. we don't hang often and we're all busy with our own lives. too busy for one another. so what's the point? it's really kind of sad that our society can make us so crazy and to mug our guts out to the point that we can shove alot of things out of the picture. Even frenz and parents. Moreover, there's also exchange progs to go for. so i wouldn't see you guys for long periods as well. but i guess i am being too sentimental. and for my parents, being at home doesnt make me a great daughter too. Leaving them for a period will hopefully let me appreciate them more.

ok so how????? LOL. Let's wait for the sign. Let's be doubly and triply sure that it's His plan. if yes then i would go bcos i can have the confidence that all will be taken care of. If not i'll stay.

For no. 2, there's too much red tapes, lack of confidence and everything is just causing more delay. So yes while jogging yesterday i guess the best plan is to do this as my own personal endeavour. But right now i am getting worried too. security issues and all. Maybe i should head to somewhere else. But what's confirmed is that i wanna be engaged as a volunteer for a humanitarian affairs project this holiday. Haha maybe can do what Paula suggested and get in touch with Mr GK again.

Don't think you guys understand. But i may really be leaving here soon. There's not much time left for me to do what i want and to even do my best to make a positive impact here before i go. Oh well, who cares. And perhaps my views and thinkings have deviated too much to fit in any longer. So let's take it a step a time. Let me pursue my dream personally 1st den. And like Sarah said i am too sentimental.

bazaar and ktv

haven't been updating this blog for quite some time so inertia is really settling in man. but before i let it completely get rooted in me, i shall BLOG again. yay

anyway did a bazaar at NUS with liz last friday. And thank you all who came to show their support!! and really wanna give God some praises. Becos our debut bazaar went really well. Liz and i were really worried and we slept really lil for 2 nights to prepare for the bazaar. Making the signboards, buying the logistics, making the price tags and taggin all our clothes. HELL lot of work to do. But really praise God for bringing in the crowd because it was pretty well-known for NUS bazaars to be a picture of emptiness (no customers, ppl just walking pass and glancing through). And what's more, God really answers prayers to the finest details. They crowds came in intermittently and was never too crowded beyond what liz n i can handle. And so we had a really successful bazaar!! YAY.

so maybe can consider to do more in the future. after exams that is.

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the 2 happy bosses.


And yesterday was the first UOL revision workshop with the LSE lecturers. I must say i am really thrilled by this. Had econs lecture yesterday and the lecturer was infamous for his strictness and discipline. He was also well-known for making students throw their faces away. He loved to arrow victims to ask his questions and he will not move on until you give an answer. a stupid answer because you can never fully answer his questions. And yes rumours are true indeed BUT he's really not as nasty as he sounds. In fact he's full of humour and he's very very very good at explaining the concepts. And very very patient at explaining to you when you consult him 1-1. And the class turned out to be nnot pressuring at all. Because he set the mood and attitude right at the start. Which is to 'throw away the face but fill the head with knowledge". So everyone didnt mind giving silly answers and we laughed at each other's stupidity. Nothing shameful about it.

Anyway he's really funny. Snippets:

" I understand that in Asia there's this issue called the face. you people call it throw face. but i am telling you that i am here to throw your face because if you keep your face, your head is empty. So i'm gonna make sure that you throw your face but fill your heads"

"knowing this country really well, I am not gonna waste time waiting for volunteers so I will just point at whoever i wish to answer the question. And it's very easy to know who's the one i am pointing at because that person will be the only one who don't know that i am pointing at him or her"

"For those who know the answer, you better answer and not let me catch u. because i will make sure i will not just throw your face. i'll make sure i will CRUCIFY you. I will make sure even ur bones are stripped off"

On how can we call ourselves econs students n yet dun noe our current affairs...
" i know you singapore students. The world is not just singapore and pulau ubin!"

on e concept of falling production in the Short run production despite more inputs added on....
" think of this. 1 nerd 1 computer 1 room can produce 5 computer games called murder. In the long run, we can have 2 rooms, 2 nerds, 2 computers and we wwill get 10 'murder' games and so on. But in the short run, we are constrained by the fixed variable. the room. so we can increase production by adding more nerds. So we have 2 nerds, 1 comp, 1 room. Both nerds are happy and they fertilised each others' ideas with different ways to kill the ppl in the game. production increased. So we add more one more nerd. 3 nerds, 1 comp, 1 room. They are happy and added each other on facebook and cont to work merrily on the production of murder. Production increased. Add more nerds. BY the 5th nerds, they start to get on each others' nerves w onli 1 comp. So there's no more facebooking and they starting arguing and pulling each other's hair. production falls."


* i hv no super sonic memories. snippets r just rough recollection of the jokes. haha

anyway after lecture, i went to SING with my OG. so happen many of my OG mates r in e same lecture as me. So really great and we all went to sing!! YAY OG 4's favourite hobby. and i really begin to get what my gal frenz in my og meant. e guys in our og r really very very nice ppl. all really know howw to take care of the gals very well. so it's really very xin fu. make us all feel like lil princesses. Haha. Anyway yes i conclude that og 4 is quite talented! a few of us really sing well! including our ogl! anyway yes i am still swoonin over one of my OG mate's voice. AHHHH he's so shen qing when he sings. DAMN NICE. really to all gals, warning: be careful when u listen to him sing. please make sure u are seated. or else ur jelly legs may give way. haha