SADDDED

DAMN....... MY POST THESE DAYS ARE JUST GETTING EMO. IS THIS THE EMO SEASON?

I am soooooooo sadded. why does cell retreat have to clash with my osaka homestay programme. Why am i the lucky 10 selected for the programme when the dates clashes and i have to make this REALLL SUCKY decision of honouring my commitment and responsibility to my cell?! This really really suck.

anf the suckiest part is that i already knew that 2nd week of dec is not a good timing for me cos of the possibility of this happening, but bcos the majority of cell can make it on the 2nd week. I have to give in n COMPLY. OH GOSH. n i cant don't go. OH GOSH. MADNESS

oh gosh. Lord, why am i in this position!! n i cant defy. AHHH Daddy!! Why Daddy! Please help me to make a good decision. Please let me have joy and peace in the decision i make. If i choose to go for retreat which 90% i would since i wanna honour my commitment and responsibility, please let me go with joy at heart. I really dread the idea of going to retreat as a empty shell. Which of late i seem to have turned into. All thanks to the added commitment and work. I am now a empty shell. cos i have to always put aside all things i love to serve. OH gosh. i really understand the meaning of sacrificial giving now. It suck soooo bad that it feels like i'm being sucked dry. My soul has gone. it's just an empty shell.