over the hurdles

finally finally rysec is soon to end. after 2 tormenting days of writing and entering a state of trance as i write, i can finally pass on the work to others to do yay!! good luck on editting peeps! soon soon rysec, i can bid u goodbye soon!! tedious process of submission i would have to endure though... let's hope for some kind soul to initiate to help. :((

and the union week gigs are also over and there's this emptiness and uncertainty in me. I think i am really addicted to the exhilaration of performing. Those butterflies in the stomach feeling. But sadly, i am still far away from even my own benchmark as a vocalist and the dream of being vox and having your own band seems far far away. But on my way on way.... let's just hope i don't give in to discouragement. And i can't wait to get better and better with the keyboard!! then i can at least do something else besides singing and i can sing with more sound music theory instead of being an ignorant bloke. But yeah, so much uncertainty... and people are leaving too... so tempting to just leave as well... but that would mean having to search for another source of social life and also a total cut off from any tiny bit of opportunities for performance and getting better. arghh. and i really wanna go for vocal classes and get stronger.... i soooo want a voice that wows, not "well, not bad" but "WOW'. but arghh all the cash has gone to keyboard.

caught Dania's band's (Blue Exit) gig too at the central forum the other day and gosh they were impressive! the guitarist's solo was so can i say exhilarating? haha and of cos the entire band was just tight and perfect. And dania's voice has character!! Man... i wanna zhng my voice to one with character too man. enough ballads in my life.

but for now, it's time to act cute and try to be sexy with SNSD's Genie for the junior's welcome tea performance. dancing in heels and making it look effortless.

and one shit thing in life, my never-ending torment over the mongolian workcamp. ARGHHHHHH just cos it's not part of one's jobscope, you don't do it? Such inflexible is indeed the hallmark of a Singaporean. All according to the rules and books. So disappointing that such traits happen even for humanitarian workers. Where's the spirit of going an extra mile?

am i again imposing my views on others? just like the other day's conversation with my friends on studies. perhaps there are indeed people who find 'joy' in just shutting their eyes and getting through the days in college.