siansation

I have no idea why but these days have been pretty much boring for me. There' s simply nothing to look forward to and nothing to aim for. Probably why i am caught in this period of perpetual sian-ness.

and what have i done so far out of boredom. haha. I had zhng my blog. and today i was even tempted by all the ang moh babes at my condo to go sun tanning! haha yupz let the sun shine on me!

but anyway yeah these days have been really aimless. Really hope to find my ground once again and start finding my purpose in life once again. nope i am not emo (elmo) just sian.

And my mom had successfully irritated me once again. She reallly never fails to do so. I am pissed off at her constant nagging abt NUS. Why can't she just get it that i am a uni reject and that's just too bad? I am pissed off with her treating SIM like it's really something so under her. Do i have a choice? no! GRR. pure pissed off. And i am pissed too at her jumping into wrong conclusions and thinking that she knows me very well. so pissed.

I was just commenting to her about some girls in my life who are drop dead gorgeous, hot, rich and smart. Some of them are also darn havoc but guess what they're all straight As students. Argh sigh. And so i was just tellin my mom that i wanna be like them too. N it's ridiculous how she twisted my message into I wanna be havoc. GRR. so totally off point.

What i had meant was simply, I wanna be pretty, rich n smart too!! I don't care if i struggled like shit to churn out the result but at least it's cool to have people to think that it's very easy for me. I mean.. argh u get the point. The emphasis is not even at havoc. Sigh. But yeah i had always look up to this cousin of mine. She's pretty, rich and most of all SMART. n e latest addition to her life havoc. But well her havoc doesnt affect her capability. so yeah! Argh.. i wanna be like her too!