Adam's Role

Was having a discussion with my cell frenz during dance pract the other day. which brought to mind stuff that i have been thinking about recently and especially after i return frm Arts camp.

I am really having some culture shock and problems adapting lah. People are just so different in arts. I am not generalising here. i just meant the peeps i meet thus far. All are super crazy and there's no limit to their play. But ok lah they still nice peeps.

But anyway this culture shock thgy is just a trigger to stuff that i have been thinking about. so mich n jaime n i were discussing abt the general singaporean men. Once again not to generalized but it's really very tough to find a guy that embodies the spirit of a Godly man. A friend asked isn't it boring to be with someone serious and what's my idea of chivalry since i always bring it up.

I think being a Christ centered man doesn't mean that you have to be serious and no nonsense kind. It's not. It's knowing the limits to jokes and stuff. It's a fine line between joking and jeering. Quote an example, to a self-conscious girl a joke about her weight or appearance maybe putting her down. Of cos this is dependent on case by case basis. But in a nutshell it's just a fine line between the two. A Godly guy would joke but not jeer or put girls down.

It's God given role for Adam to love and to protect Eve. A Godly man should always love and protect the women around them. This is what i defined as chivalry. It's really chivalrous for a guy to think and be sensitive to a girl. Even things like checkin in on her when she return home late that she's safe. Sending her home when it's really too late. Defending her name. Protect her in not just physical sense but also her name spiritually or emotionally etc. It's like how Joseph defended Mary's name when he learnt that she was with child. He thought of divorcing her privately but not out in the open because he wanted to protect Mary's name. This is chivalry. To love and defend the fairer sex not just from physical bully, but also other aspects such as not putting her to shame or embarrassment. So simple things like offering to substitute the girl in playing those slightly adult content games during orientation camps are acts of chivalry which is sadly absent most of the time. Instead, most find pleasure in pushing the girls to the front line thinking of it as a joke.

Still on the same point, I absolutely abhor those who enjoy having ambiguous relationships. It's totally not respecting the girl. It's just a nicer way of saying I want to share a closer and more intimate relationship with you but minus the commitment. So girls out there it's really foolish to allow guys to have it their way. Such grey areas reduces the girl to just a fling and justifies the guy's act of having many other flings since they are all not their girl friends. So where is chivalry in this? The sad part is alot of us actually find grey areas acceptable. Also there are those who have no qualms with having ambiguous times with girls who are attached.

Lastly, a Godly man leads. But of course it doesn't mean to dominate. But a Godly man leads and advises the fairer sex. Genders are made to complement. However alot of guys have taken the back seat in leading and leaving the fickled minded girls to tear their hair out.

But of cos, ladies have a part to play too. We have to be willing to be led and to take advices. Be supportive appreciative of guys' effort in taking the lead, in trying their best to be the gentlemen in our lives. However it seemed that there's a vicious cycle going on. The girls gets turned off by the guys' passiveness and takes over the role of leading and all, and the guys gets even less motivated and turned more passive which turns girls off even more and making them more aggressive in playing the role of Adam.